Yesterday after quitting my easy-come easy-go blue-collar pseudo-factory scam-op job, I went to a temp agency to take all their silly tests. I lamented having to spend yet another 3 hours filling out these tests (which test if you can use MS Word, Excel, how fast you type, etc.; although the tests and keyboards are always slightly different, I consistently score over 75 wpm and 8000 for alphanumeric data entry) since I fill them out every few months for a different temp company, hoping to one day be placed in some position, although I never am placed anywhere. It seems like the tests should be standardized and that different temp services should be able to access the same scores. But no– that would be too simple. If there’s anything temp services can’t handle, it’s simple organization.
Anyway, I was making the mistake one should never make during typing tests, that is, reading the text provided. It’s much faster to capture the text like an image and spit it back out with one’s fingers rapidly (this will get you 90 wpm)– for god’s sake, don’t try to edit it (this will give you downwards of 60 wpm, as many of my friends have found when they get stumped by the grammar of the passages). So I was reading the text, which was about finding a job. This is usually what the temp agency typing tests texts cover– how to interview or how to make a resume or some other job-related wisdom. This text was a particular gem though, because it started out:
The first step to finding a job is to determine what you want out of life.
What the fuck? The first step is to determine what you want out of life? I don’t think so! Who ever really determines what they want out of life? I want a fucking job that pays my fucking bills and allows me to eat out and buy new clothes once in awhile– maybe $30k/yr with benefits (in Buffalo… in other cities I might desire better pay, although at this rate I certainly have no hope of receiving it).